I’m pretty raw in the aspect of writing or penning down reflections so please do bear with me. (-:
Upon reflecting on the Sunday gospel for this week, I think what particularly struck me was the verse, “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you; abide in my love” (John 15:9). Very often, I find myself taking God’s presence and his very gift of faith for granted.
In this state of mine, God becomes of a lesser importance and hence, falls below all of my seemingly important priorities. This verse served as a reminder of God’s great love for me, that no other things or beings can actually fill the intangible void in my heart: “These things I have spoke to you, that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be full” (John 15:11).
The week has been a tumultuous week for me with the burdens of schoolwork and personal friendships that have been my cross to carry. These roller coaster feelings and emotions of mine have been just so hard to comprehend. Despite all these feelings of frustration, dryness and emptiness, I chose to be self-sufficient for that very few days. In my conscious mind, I knew that God was actually calling me to just spend some time with me, to just abide in his great and perfect love and in fact to surrender this cross of mine and humble my very being at the feet of the cross. However, I went against these soft promptings in my heart. All I ever wanted to do was just to incarcerate myself in this bubble. Thankfully, it came to a point where I just knew I had to return to him and desired to return to him.
After school on Tuesday, I went for adoration at Christ the King. The journey there was HORRENDOUS. Two buses passed the bus interchange without even stopping (URGH) and the traffic jam was simply distasteful. Although Christ the King was like really near near near near near my school, I think I took an estimated time of an hour to reach the church. During that dreadful hour, thoughts of just returning home were reeling through my mind but I made it for adoration in the end. To sum it all up, I would say my time spent there was truly the highlight of my week. Amidst the emotional turmoil I was facing, I was finally able to experience peace just as God promised, “Come all those who are weary and heavily burdened and I will give you rest”. I think its just amazing, how faithful our God is and how his love holds on bounds. Its so easy to love him (-: So I guess I hope for all you people who are reading this (HAHA), that we truly appreciate and treasure this gift of faith and his presence. It is a privilege and it’s just simply beautiful to even claim to be children of his. (-: God created us in love, for love and to love. And as He loves, we are called to love others regardless of our human biases.
LOTS AND LOTS OF LOVE,
I am and I.