So I have heard from your infernal mate Wormtongue that you are having troubles with your human subject, who is proving to be more than what you have bargained for. Alas! The relish (both literally and figuratively) of a worthy foe. I remember those days. If anything, take comfort in the feast her soul will provide once you have vanquished all resistance. Spend enough time in this vocation and soon you will be sick and tired of all the lifeless, lukewarm souls which taste like well – nothing at all, which is a complete reflection of their purposeless lives.
But I digress. What was it now? Ah yes, advice! And damning advice you will get from your obliging mentor. I hope you remember your first lesson in Luciferate Academy, on how we must work unceasingly to stop our subjects from praying (see what I did there?). The Enemy out of his much mispaced love grants them this gift for their good, and this is the greatest stumbling block of us tempters, as well as an abomination to our cause.
The strategy is age old as well as simple, and can be broken up into three points. Coincidentally, that is the same as found on our Father’s pitchfork. First, fill your subject’s life with noise. Those diabolical boxes which they call the TV and computer, make use of them! Music even, although intrinsically opposite to our efforts, can be abused to the same effect. A subject who cannot be silent will never be able to hear the Enemy’s voice, who speaks in those disgusting whispers. The bottom line is this – let our Father’s triumphant booming voice ring out all day!
The second is to prevent your subject from assimilating the scriptural word of the Enemy. Pfft, if only those fools knew the truths contained within! Even our Father knows them by heart (figuratively of course – he doesn’t have one). Even if you fail in the first point of attack, you can still fall back and rely on this one. The Enemy’s will cannot be discovered or known if your subject’s mind (quiet as it may be) is empty. We can thus foil that damned dove’s from working within by this extinguishment of raw material!
The last point, and my personal favourite, is to halt all efforts of purification by your subject. It brings me great delight and humour to witness these idiots running away from the Enemy’s embrace once they fall to our efforts. Nothing lights my fire more than to see the Enemy’s open, but empty arms, while his children cower in shame, disgust and false humility. This has worked to a large degree and we must thank our brothers for keeping those blasted confessionals empty. My protege, you will also have to cloud your subject’s mind with banal thoughts – never for once let the thought of examining her day cross it! Our deck of cards come falling down once these humans actually take stock of their consciousness and identify their shortcomings. No, we have to allow them to continue bumbling along in false security, being unaware of their movement which brings them closer and closer to our Father’s embrace each day. I am proud to say that I’ve managed to obscure a wise man’s saying that an unexamined life is not worth living. Socrates was right of course… because such a life becomes ours to take!
I’ve gone on for quite a bit now, and you should have more than enough tools at your disposal to well, dispose of your subject. Do not fail me young one, for our Father will be the most displeased at any sign of incompetence. At it stands, the Enemy’s word has pronnounced us as defeated, and we cannot take any chances as to the fulfillment of such a prophecy. Thus, be who you were created to be – A BLOODY DEVIL!
With the Seven Deadly Sins and a whole lot more,
Your Mentor, Tumorous-Torturer.
I decided to try my hand at a little bit of satire which largely takes after C.S. Lewis’ “The Screwtape Letters” and “Wormwood Proposes a Toast” (thanks Jess!). I was inspired by a simple talk on the topic of Prayer yesterday, and these are actually the main points of that talk! I guess behind this satire lies a very serious message as well, and I quote St. Alphonsus on this – “He who prays is saved. He who prays not is damned!”.