Confessions

The sacrament of confession is pretty close to my heart. When I start feeling lousy, my mood becomes sour; I become agitated easily, I know its time for confession.

In essence, I really do feel sin weighing me down.

In the past, I always assumed these feelings were part and parcel of life, and had no link to the sins I was committing. Only in recent times, as I started to rediscover my faith, I realized that those feelings were becoming more pronounced. I became more aware of both my emotions and my wrongdoings.

But still, I didn’t draw the link about sin and feeling shitty.

But as God would have it, I kind of stumbled onto the most incredible confession of my life. And let me tell you that since then, all the confessions have been great!

It had been sometime since my last confession, and I was feeling shitty. The time came for confession (probably because a day of obligation was drawing near), and so I went. As mentioned earlier, the nuances of my sinning were becoming more pronounced. During that confession, as I was being absolved of my sin, I could feel “power” coming over me. I could literally feel my shitty self actually turn happy. I tried to rationalize the process of my change of emotions. I couldn’t.

The only thing that I could conclude from that episode is that sin weighing the physical and emotional self is very real. Confession has become a remedy of sorts for me whenever I start to feel really shitty. A hundred percent of the time, the shittiness I feel results from the weight of sin.

So, when you feel troubled or weighed down, go for confession! I can certainly tell you that the feeling of absolution is truly incredible!

Raphael

From Wonderland to Heaven

“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”

“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat.

“I don’t much care where–“said Alice.

“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,'”said the Cat.

– Lewis Caroll

————-

Open our eyes.

We wander, we maunder
Flitting from flower to flower
“So many things, so little time”
Yes, we know the phrase.

This world is a whirl
Paths change, twirl and intertwine
Certainty brews uncertainty
But where do our sights lie?

We search, we forage
Too often do obsessions spring forth
Like oversized mushrooms and talking flowers
Detracting us from what truly matters.

This life is a quest
Always seeking, always hoping
One door opens another
But where do our hearts lie?

We run, we scamper
Fighting or fleeing the storms
Unclear of which direction to go
Yet do we remember God’s rainbow that awaits?

This journey is a test
Do we persist or do we resist
That which may be our dearest hope
But where does our faith lie?

We leap, we prance
Around the flowers which bloom in splendour
And in communion we rejoice
As we taste that bit of Heaven.

This day, and every day is a gift
With wonderful dreams and possibilities
A treasure none can pillage away
But where do our praises lie?

We trudge, we strive
We see the sun setting in the distance
Believing it would rise again
One way or another.

This odyssey is a choice
Whether simple or profound
And at the end of the day
Where does our salvation lie?

Open our eyes – God awaits.

————-

Perhaps it’s time to ask ourselves: have we formed that direction towards God in our faith journeys and in our lives?

– Kong

Eulogy

Eulogy

Good afternoon everyone. I am from Jon’s community, Leaven of God. Jon joined our community at the end of 2011. It’s been little over a year, but we’ve shared wonderful memories. That Christmas, we had an amazing race around Gardens … Continue reading

My Friend

My Friend

Dear Jon, I miss you. I don’t know if you are in heaven jumping on a rope or eating happily. But I’m sure you’re happy. You must be in heaven, have you reached? How was your trip there? Did you … Continue reading

19

19

He would have turned 19 this year. Nothing ever prepares you for something like this. You read the books, you watch the movies, perhaps you’ve even gone through it once. But when it happens, you reel. And then you go … Continue reading

He

Blood, gushed out. Tears, like a dam unleashed. She collapsed, her heart- frozen and fragile. Death so imminent. Bright, the light. Squinting small eyes. Desperate, she reached. Bright, the light. Frost to fire, Darkness to light, Death to life. He was. … Continue reading

Tantrums

At the shake of a head, The inversion of His mighty thumb, The world dulls to darkness. With a crack of thunder, The tears well up, The stormy winds blow rain in buckets. Bawling, a string fist crashes down, Shaking … Continue reading

Discernment

Recently in life I had a big decision to make, which required great discernment on my part. I was taught this by a Canossian sister:

To answer the question “Should I do X?”

1. Begin with a prayer to surrender all distractions; desires and expectations, to let His will be done.
2. On paper, write, “Do X” and list the pros and cons of making this decision. Leave this paper alone for 2-3 days. Don’t think about it.
3. Repeat above steps for the “Don’t do X” decision.
4. In the process of leaving it alone and not thinking about it, discover where your heart is prompting you towards.
5. Pray on why you feel this way, and if God is calling you to this decision.
6. Have the courage to make the decision.

I followed this process, also making sure to discuss it with those affected by the decision. No point discerning if you may not have the freedom to make the decision.

It was a month long process, meeting God in prayer, adoration and people. I was frustrated because I couldn’t find an answer. But I kept at it, until God revealed to me this line, “Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion…”

On some level, I wanted the answer to be “Do X” but I was afraid God was calling me to say no. As a person not keen on letting others down, this was extremely difficult. But as I continued praying, God revealed to me more reasons for this decision and gave me courage to say no. Today, I am fully humbled by what it means to submit myself to the will of God, to let myself decrease and let Him increase within me.

– Poey