When I saw jon walk up to the grotto at 9pm on friday, I smiled because it has been awhile but “hey! he’s back!”
Even now, at this point, I feel like he could just walk into the ado room while we were praying and just be with us. “you’re here!” I would exclaim, but it is much tougher to imagine that now, not when reality has sank in a little bit.
Births, vocations (marriage/religious life) and deaths are usually defining chapters in our own lives, but in our journey as 1cor12/ LOG, I don’t think we really expected this chapter to appear this early on.
Jon has only been with us for a little more than a year. Seeking a place to belong and looking for God as much as we all did, he came earnestly and enthusiastically. I couldn’t quite understand him really. He was quite different from the man on the street, well… one thing was I never heard someone use the word ‘really’ so many times in one sentence. It amused me quite a lot.
I like to think that a person can head up towards heaven once he has done his job, very much like how ash would get his pokemon to return to the pokeball once it has completed their mission. Generosity, curiousity and perseverance are the top 3 things he taught me. How he always desired to give, how he always asks questions to find out why and how he battled his eczema. To be honest, I wished I had a little more time to journey with him, but I think his life has touched me a lot deeper than I realize at this point of time.
Oh, another thing, I salute his courage. It’s not so much about the number of times he broke down or felt weak, inadequate and tired, but it was the moments when I saw him pull through.
I’m surprised it happened so fast, annoyed that he didn’t seem to put up much of a fight, happy he need not suffer, angry at god for not giving him a chance to sort things out first but joyful that he has gone to meet God. I would imagine he is sitting there cross legged on the white floor, smiling from ear to ear and hugging God with face snug on God’s cloak or something. Waiting to enter in. I’m a little jealous.
Of course the anger disappears because I know he went peacefully in his sleep, it’s difficult to not see the God’s plan in all of this. It is a pretty ingenius well executed plan I must say, I don’t expect any less of God. He always produces goodness in the worst of situations.
I like that his being just lights up in this picture, how I feel he is now. Perhaps God answered his prayer.