I always think back of the times when I travelled around Europe myself with a backpack and wonder what is it really, that made those times so memorable and satisfying. Remembering a part of those travels reassures me of myself and God’s hand in my life; becoming an anchor for my life.
And I think I found that answer, and I had to do that, by looking at myself from the outside in.
The life in Singapore stifles me, but I enjoy the busy days and multiple responsibilities. I can maintain my faith just alright, but it is stagnant.
When I am alone overseas, I am free. Not just the freedom to do anything I want, eat anything I want or walk where I want to, but the freedom from the day to day worries about school, family, finances; the freedom to relook at all my views about life and to remove the biases, grievances; freedom to then see who I really am, and the graces God has showered upon me. Only then, am I really free to praise God for what He has done in my life because I can finally recognize them clearer and mean what I say in my whisper of a prayer.
I don’t exactly find this freedom, but I avail myself to it. Avail myself by being in a foreign land, by myself, and by being spontaneous and open. Then praying comes so naturally because God reaches me so easily. I feel sometimes, we try to hard to pray or try to hard to reach God, but as Opening to God would explain, prayer is about being open to God – that’s all!
And then I receive peace, something I constantly look for in my faith life, and of which I need more certainly in 2013.