“You draw nice” says the stewardess in green on my flight to LA.
I give my most grateful looking smile and reply that I’m a designer.
Drawing and designing things has always been a passion. It’s not just a talent, it’s an entire way of looking at things in the world. It’s how I see beauty, and how I see God. There is this intense love for how things are put together, the way it is crafted by a creator.
But the thing about any creation is that it is never just a creation, it is a representation of the person who created it. That’s the reason why I like nature, it’s the closest source I have to understand god.
Drawing always has this special place in my heart, like a first love. She opened the doors to emotion, expression, idea generation and most of all, God’s love.
“Where do you get inspiration from?”
There is this ideal image I have of myself. Given a brief, I would ponder on it a while, walk out and gain inspiration, look at the shapes of leaves or the way the lamp post bends because I would like to think that I notice the things people don’t and that would be my USP. Once I’ve been inspired by my surroundings, I would creatively come up with some cool idea, and there you go.
But for the past 2 years or trying to do that in school, church or work, I realize that that never happens.
At school I talk to my friends and get by on their ideas and contributing by trying to execute it in a pretty fashion.
At church I think and I think and pray something comes to me. Ideas feel mediocre or nothing comes and I resort to doing the norm.
At work I get stuck and copy from the Internet. Lacking any original idea.
But for all the very tiny bits in between, when I designed something based on instinct or just went with the first idea because I didn’t have to plan, I kind of get that feeling that it was God. But there is this knowingness that God is in my work, in designing, just because I know it in my gut, designer gut or not.
As much as God sometimes feel like a concept to me and not exactly a person I can have a relationship with, that feeling of being blown away by beauty is just more than I can comprehend, more than I can explain and more than I can imagine, simply put, it is God.
It was only this year my status changed. I could no longer write ‘student’ as my occupation in the immigration card and realized how much my decisions are impacting my life. I couldn’t just remain generic, I could choose my position, my path, my wealth, I could choose God.
Always described with the 2 words ‘sports’ and ‘art’, it has recently evolved into the 2 words ‘catholic’ and ‘friend’, aptly describing her changing priorities in life. In the spirit of randomness: Jes hates it when people can’t spell her full name properly and likes rolling around on grass, sand and occasionally concrete sidewalk to look at stars.