Oceans are not that deep after all.

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Vocation is like driving a car, many of us always tell God “please steer us in the right direction!” then complain that we do not see God’s hand at work or God does not seem to be listening to our prayers. But that is because we are not driving the car and making it move. Steering is not apparent until the car is actually moving. He said that a better way of doing it would be to actually get the car moving first and tell God: “God I’m going to go down this path! Please show me if I am going the wrong way.” We need to have the car moving first (i.e. make our own decision first and actually take action) before we will be able to notice Gods prompting. Often people just wait and wait for some sort of divine revelation.

Intriguing? Is it not?

I received this inspirational text from my friend just recently and it spoke acutely to me.

As I browsed through my journal and blog posts, they were highly evocative entries of the plateau I was trapped in.

A man-made plateau that seemed endless…

One year has passed,

One year of friendship which progressed into courtship.

One year of sheer happiness, sadness, smiles and tears.

Their sacred bond was the culmination of the events and emotions over the past year.

But this uncertainty had to end.

The grey phase was way passed its matured stage.

Both Jack and Jill knew that. They knew.

Jill was obdurate. She awaited or foreshadowed an unraveling of signs or divine revelation that would give her an answer.

She just would not budge; she had it ‘in the bag’.

But as she prayed and dwelled deeper into her heart, she got lost in her ocean of emotions.

“It’s a maze down here!” she exclaimed.

Some days she felt she found her way out,

Some days she sulked and gave up.

Slowly but surely, she grew to understand herself better.

Jill was afraid.

She was afraid of relationships. Of commitment.

She was comfortable.

She grew to be selfish.

The light seemed far away.

I couldn’t swim to the surface.

I needed more time. (Forever and always)

What should I do daddy?

Show me your will?

It was time that I realized that he isn’t going to shout the answer right back at me.

He isn’t going to say, “YES!!!!” or “NO!!!!”

I was perturbed.

Time was running out.

As I continued to pick up my journal diligently and looked towards the cross, God’s faithfulness shone.

One question popped up evidently.

“ Which state will grant you the greatest avenue for growth?”

Followed by, little God moments started to speak to me.

….

“Intense love does not measure it just gives. ”

Mother Teresa

From Facebook (AN APP HAHA):

“Today we believe God wants us to know that …

you can conquer your fears.

When fear is holding you back, don’t give up. Even the bravest people feel afraid. Courage is not the absence of fear, but the will to go on in spite of it.”

The parable of David and the Goliath sprung up in my mind.

I felt like David who was ready to battle Goliath.

Goliath being my fears and past rather than the relationship. (Duh)

But the fuzzy feeling I had was beautiful.

It was the knowing that Jesus is holding my hand.

It’s the childlike faith that he isn’t going to let go, never.

God as I start my car, please steer me in the your direction.

A leap of faith with you, that’s all I need.

Jill leaped; she hasn’t fallen but as this quote goes

‘ A commitment does not enslaves, it liberates.’

Jill is liberated and feeling at peace.

Brenna

Brenna is usually thought to be a relatively loud and weird individual. However, Brenna enjoys the quiet and treasures her personal space and ‘me’ time greatly. Brenna’s fairytale story centers around a simple dream since her younger days. She dreams of great family with a loving husband/father, God-sent children and aspires to be a great wife and mother.

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