Our Family: Stepping up in our First Community


My siblings and I have begun discussing the taking care of our parents. As the four of us are about to be independent, it is about time we stepped up to lead in our family instead.

There are several issues that we have to consider in time to come with regard to our parents:

(a) Emotional support

We need to understand their old people problems (and be patient with their struggles to keep up with modern technology).


(b) Retirement

What are our parent’s retirement plans? How do they wish to grow old together? How may we, as their children, help them get there?

Also, we should nudge them to try out new things and step out of their usual routine.


(c) Financial support

How much should we apportion to support our parents, while at the same time sufficiently save for our own purposes?


(d) Wills / Administration, and Housekeeping

Getting any assets is besides the point. Let’s not forget that today’s lifestyle is highly leveraged. We will need to discuss the responsibility for satisfying any liabilities.

As such, we need to know of the existence and whereabouts of every important document e.g. mortgages, details of bank accounts, relevant contact persons etc.


(e) Medical care

Who would be the caretaker of the parents? What arrangements would there be amongst the four of us?


(f) Final resting place

Where do they wish to have their ashes placed? At the parish church, or with their other relatives elsewhere?


(g) Immediate action upon departure, and funeral arrangements

We should know what actions to undertake upon their departure at any moment in terms of communication and arranging the funeral. What type of funeral should be organized?

It frightens me to even think of such a day of bereavement, but that day is inevitable. It is hoped that preemptive and prudent planning would make us strong for the remaining parent and for each other.



According to his friends, PY is known to be highly self-deprecating. His grades are mostly B+, because it runs through him.


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