on the other side

hi guys. just wanted to update yall on how it is at st iggys cos we split on fri.

life’s been pretty good, so much so that i feel a bit bad having it so good. really glad that everything i learnt in tp students union can be applied here. perhaps that is also god’s way of affirming me that poly was his plan, and that this is the right place to use whatever i have learnt.

staff retreat was amazing. not just because it was superb 5-star service. but becos the people are fun-loving, god-fearing and spirit-filled. 1) im so thankful that i have an immediate boss (and the rest of the staff too for that matter) who has a personal relationship with god, our bigger boss. i am able to share my own spiritual revelations and our affirmations build each other up. we have sharing during mass after homily, how cool is that. 2) i am so thankful that they are joyful humourous people. yknow how some of the saints were known to troll. well, we’re not far off here. 3) so thankful for jesuit spirituality, that we really do find god in all things. we watched 2 ‘secular’ movies during the retreat but took away spiritual messages. it was ‘about time’ and ‘grace of monaco’, if anyone is interested.

today, i attended the dvc young adults day of recollection. their direction for the year is on ‘building relationships and taking ownership’. which i felt was such an irony becos im starting to feel torn and guilty for not giving enough, but always to either one at any one point in time. the plan was to take time til end of the year to stabilise and find middle ground. but becos i just started, i find myself needing to spend a bit more time at st igs. which leaves me to neglect log. family isnt so bad cos my sis is on hols and we catch up on weekdays.

i meant to blog after core leaders retreat but didnt get down to doing it. i was really quite touched during the praying over. god reminded me of how reluctant i was to be elected 1 yr ago, and i took the planting of the seed to be his re-invitation of my commitment to serve as core in log. i honestly feel like i’ve been doing a bad job, to which greg always protest. and even before my job was confirmed, i told core to prepare to look for my replacement. when we were invited to plant the seed, i promised god tt i would abandon tt unwillingness and do whatever i can to ease the burden. but i realised, and it is so difficult to admit this, that i cant. not becos i dowan to either.

so i guess this is an indirect reminder or plea to pls support esp soo, jes and kong. becos sometimes the admin gets overwhelming. and all this is partly becos i accepted to go and build community somewhere else. when i put the situation in prayers&praises, i dont think i realised the extent of the consequence. i cant say specifically how to support either, but i guess log shld just know in general how much the rest of core is tanking for me.

i know i shld be prepared to be torn between places. and the sentence that sums it all up is: i dont know where i’ll be spending xmas and easter. during the vocation discernment retreat, sr maria jose from verbum dei shared abt how she left spain to go to asia, philippines and now singapore. she has tried to learn the local language and culture, but still, no local would ever consider her as their kind. when she went back to spain, her own people laughed at her poor use of spanish becos she hasnt spoken it in such a long time. she said, after a while she realised that her home was neither her place of birth, nor the place she was sent to; her true home is heaven right in the father’s embrace. and i relate to that very much.

meanwhile, 10th anniversary celebrations soon. i am so glad to be a part of log.

peace. von.

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