On Not Entering Command School

Dear God,

*Brain decides to examine my conscience & weeks in the past. A moment which I vividly remember as part of my days as follows.*
*brain goes to thinking mode with imagination & clear imagery!

Kestrel company watch it Kestrel company Sedia
*turn around and bangs right leg*
*Salutes*
Good Evening Sir
Total strength 264
Current Strength 264
Permission to carry on Sir
*Salutes*
Kestrel Company Senang Diri

Lord, being the 1st bed of the section, I always got to see every first parade and last parade clearly and every step of it is like a routine which I have watched and saved in my memory. A part of me dreamt of being the officer which gets saluted and granting the permission and a part of me didn’t mind saluting and providing the strength and commanding the entire company. Basically, a part of me wanted to go to command school in army and for most going to command school is a privilege and if you get in, you know that it will be tough but worth it in the end. So Lord, this was a dream I prayed to you many times about, just as I stared in the sky or in moments when I experienced your presence in army, my prayer was that you will allow me to grow by blessing me with these opportunities I desired for!

Yet, God, when my postings were released, unfortunately I did not enter command school. I am posted to be a driver, a transport operator. When I read that, disappointment and anger with You filled me. My heart goes, “Lord! You know how much I wanted this, and You do this to me. Don’t You think this is unfair?”

And all I got in those days were silence from You and consolation from the people around me that God has a greater plan. I am sure we have all been through at least once in our lives when we go through something we feel uncomfortable with, something not what we wanted and people say God had a different or greater plan and we really and I mean REALLY want to believe that God has a greater, a better plan. But our heart is torn.

As I reflected greater, and now experienced 1 week of unit life, I begin to see that greater plan & my heart says, “”Yes Lord, maybe your plan is better, just maybe.” And the moment I say this, I begin to hear You in the silence of my heart and I experience your reassurance in my life and I can finally experience joy which comes from You, joy which comes from acceptance of what You want of me rather than what I desired for myself.

God, You remind me that You want to be the officer of my life, that You are the officer of my life and that You have all supreme authority over me. That You, God, are my Sergeant who wants to care for me, who wants to teach me and lead me in the right ways. I begin to acknowledge once again that You, O God, is my provident Father, the person who knows what is best for me and that I just need to TRUST You. You have decided to drive the 5 tonner that I am sitting in and You have decided that You have full control of the steering wheel and so I will just go on the ride the You lead me on the next 1.5 years.

Thank you God for being with me and blessing me with Your plan. Please allow me to see Your plan in my life especially in the moments when Yours doesn’t match mine.

So today I pray for you reading this post that if you can’t see God’s plan in your life or if you are finding it difficult, I pray for trust and acceptance in your life to accept his plan for you.

Be Blessed dear brother/sister 😀

In the Father’s Love,

Gregory David

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In the Service of the King of Heaven

Dear God,

It has been twelve eons since I entered the service of your son Jesus Christ, the King of Heaven.

My work brings me great joy, for what other task could better prepare me for the evanescence of our mortal existence and the eternity of the life everlasting?

Yet my soul is troubled, for not everything is as it should be in the Halls of the Most High.

Why are all the Angels, Saints and Martyrs so old and tired? Aren’t they supposed to be burning with the Spirit to set the world on fire? Why are they sitting around drinking altar wine when there are souls to be saved – 5.5 million in our department alone!?

More disturbing is the manner in which some of the Saints deal with the souls under their charge. Souls of every shape and colour call our office day and night, asking for everything under the sun – new jobs, promotions, love, Secondary School admission for their kids. But the Saints turn them away.

“Our office doesn’t handle worldly matters,” the Saints say. “This is the Divine Office, for Christ’s sake.”

Hang on – since when were Heaven and Earth divorced? What happened to the Communion of Saints?

Filled with righteous anger, I challenged Saint after Saint over this matter. For twelve eons, I chastised. I pleaded.

“These souls are our Brothers and Sisters,” I said to anyone who would listen. “We are one with them in Christ! How can we treat them as aliens from another universe?”

But my protests fell on deaf ears. Until today.

Today, the Jubilee Council met. At the Jubilee Council, the Angels and Saints draw out their Holy Plan of Salvation for the following seven times seven decades.

In the midst of a heated debate, a lone Angel rose to address the multitude. He was one of the most authoritative voices in the council – perhaps even said to be the Right Hand of the Archangel.

In a deep, booming voice, the Angel proposed that the Council had reached a certain shift in mindset.

“Two Jubilees ago, it seems that we saw ourselves as a distinct entity from the souls on Earth, an external contractor that merely provides intercessions to order,” said the Angel. “But somewhere along the way, we have changed.”

“Today, we stand in unity with our mortal Brothers and Sisters. Their salvation is our cause, their spiritual growth our KPI.”

“The shepherd must take on the smell of the sheep.”

The Angel’s prophetic words were fulfilled even as he spoke. Convinced, the heavenly host murmured in agreement.

Elated, I gave silent thanks to You, for surely it was Your Spirit that spoke through the Angel to miraculously bring to fruition my dream of the past twelve months.

But You interrupted my prayer with a weird question: “My son, was that what you wanted all along? Why didn’t you just tell me?”

Then You left me in stunned silence.

Why hadn’t it occurred to me to pray for a conversion of hearts, all this time? Did I ever imagine that I might achieve even the simplest task for Your Kingdom on my own effort, through my own merit, without Your Hand at work?

Thank you God, for teaching me to be humble.

Jeremy

“Dear God”

Hello everyone! The LOGblog is alive again. We kickstart the year with the series “Dear God”. This series presents one day in one logger’s life every week. In writing a letter to God about our day, we thin-slice our life … Continue reading

What God is

As requested by Mel, my transcript for my testimony on 10th anniversary :).

“I joined LoG at the end of Sec 3 after my confirmation so that was 6 years ago. I did not plan to join community when I ended catechism class let alone LoG. At that point it was a mix of not knowing where else to go (because I had just left the servers) and just following my friends Melvyn Wong and Nigel Rankine. It was during those early stages I remember that Timothy Swee told me that he hoped that I would use my heart more than my head. Back then, I would say I already knew a lot about God and what he was. I knew a lot about the Mass and the bible and I thought that was more than enough. I always thought that God was like a mystery that you just had to figure out; I never thought that it would have anything to do with my heart and what I felt. So throughout my journey in LoG I always thought back to what Swee told me and I guess I tried to gradually use my heart more. And over the years I discovered a lot more about God.

God is tea at Arbite.

He is a late night conversation at a Bus Stop.

He is a pile of Christmas cards you think you didn’t deserve.

He is a water balloon fight at Tavistock Park or a race to climb a tree.

He is a quiet car ride home in the middle of the night.

He is a sec 3 camp with a few hours of sleep.

He is a game of beach soccer and kayaking in the sea.

He is the silence before sharing.

He is the kind words and the small affirmations.

He is friends, He is community, He is LoG.

I saw God in the relationships I have with the people here in LoG. And it was in praying, sharing and just experiencing life together as a community that I discovered so much more about my God and it helped me to grow a lot as a person. Having community created a different dimension to my perception of God and it is because of this my relationship with God has become something more personal and more real. God was no longer concept to understand but a person to be known.

I always thought that joining LoG was an accidental thing but perhaps it was also my biggest stroke of luck and I know it was God’s plan that I am here today. I pray that LoG continues to be a place that people encounter God. And today as we look back on how far we’ve come, the victories and the struggles, I hope that we will continue to be inspired by God and continue to strive to know Him and to love Him. That we may become bold and courageous in being His instruments to bring His message of love to others. All praise and glory to God. Amen and Thank you.”

I am painfully aware that just a few posts down is the one I wrote when I wanted to leave community. I guess it is only fitting since God saw fit to start that the whole process with a testimony that I complete the circle with a testimony as well.

Love,

Andrew