*Brain decides to examine my conscience & weeks in the past. A moment which I vividly remember as part of my days as follows.*
*brain goes to thinking mode with imagination & clear imagery!
Kestrel company watch it Kestrel company Sedia
*turn around and bangs right leg*
Good Evening Sir
Total strength 264
Current Strength 264
Permission to carry on Sir
Kestrel Company Senang Diri
Lord, being the 1st bed of the section, I always got to see every first parade and last parade clearly and every step of it is like a routine which I have watched and saved in my memory. A part of me dreamt of being the officer which gets saluted and granting the permission and a part of me didn’t mind saluting and providing the strength and commanding the entire company. Basically, a part of me wanted to go to command school in army and for most going to command school is a privilege and if you get in, you know that it will be tough but worth it in the end. So Lord, this was a dream I prayed to you many times about, just as I stared in the sky or in moments when I experienced your presence in army, my prayer was that you will allow me to grow by blessing me with these opportunities I desired for!
Yet, God, when my postings were released, unfortunately I did not enter command school. I am posted to be a driver, a transport operator. When I read that, disappointment and anger with You filled me. My heart goes, “Lord! You know how much I wanted this, and You do this to me. Don’t You think this is unfair?”
And all I got in those days were silence from You and consolation from the people around me that God has a greater plan. I am sure we have all been through at least once in our lives when we go through something we feel uncomfortable with, something not what we wanted and people say God had a different or greater plan and we really and I mean REALLY want to believe that God has a greater, a better plan. But our heart is torn.
As I reflected greater, and now experienced 1 week of unit life, I begin to see that greater plan & my heart says, “”Yes Lord, maybe your plan is better, just maybe.” And the moment I say this, I begin to hear You in the silence of my heart and I experience your reassurance in my life and I can finally experience joy which comes from You, joy which comes from acceptance of what You want of me rather than what I desired for myself.
God, You remind me that You want to be the officer of my life, that You are the officer of my life and that You have all supreme authority over me. That You, God, are my Sergeant who wants to care for me, who wants to teach me and lead me in the right ways. I begin to acknowledge once again that You, O God, is my provident Father, the person who knows what is best for me and that I just need to TRUST You. You have decided to drive the 5 tonner that I am sitting in and You have decided that You have full control of the steering wheel and so I will just go on the ride the You lead me on the next 1.5 years.
Thank you God for being with me and blessing me with Your plan. Please allow me to see Your plan in my life especially in the moments when Yours doesn’t match mine.
So today I pray for you reading this post that if you can’t see God’s plan in your life or if you are finding it difficult, I pray for trust and acceptance in your life to accept his plan for you.
Be Blessed dear brother/sister 😀
In the Father’s Love,