I Don’t Know

Dear God,

Today is my second day in Taiwan. But you already know that. Today I went up to the top of Taipei 101. But of course, you already know that. Today I bumbled along the narrow streets of Taipei on a bicycle, which I’m not at all confident in riding. But you already know that too. Today I got frustrated at how my friends were all sailing off into the distance while I struggled to keep my balance behind. And… Yeah you know what I’m going to type next.

Yes, today’s been quite an exciting day to write about, were this an ordinary blog. But this isn’t an ordinary blog. (we both know that). Today I saw the world as how You must see it: from high above, people going about their daily lives faaaar below me, each one inconsequential and indistinguishable from the next. Yet I know that’s not how you see us.

Know know know know know. For a word that’s supposed to bear so much certainty, it sure doesn’t seem so certain to me. I know that you’ve been there today, somewhere, somehow. I know that every grace I have comes from you. I know that you care and you love me. Or, well, I think I know. But for all this knowing, I sure don’t feel it. I’m as distant to you as I was to all those tiny people below me when I was 89 floors up.

I knew as I went into today that I was going to write a blog post. I also was pretty sure that there wouldn’t be much to link to you about. But I guess, that sums up my more recent faith life. Things happen, life goes on, interesting or not, but somehow I don’t know where you are anymore.

Yet still, I cling to some tiny string; I still wonder where you are; I still write my blogposts. So there’s some hope there.

But you already knew that, didn’t you? I wish I did.

Justin

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