A Prayer

Dear God,

Thank you for all the blessings and guidance you have given me. As I approach the next phrase of my life, I pray for more guidance with the coming decisions that I will have to make and that you would use it for your Glory.

Ryan

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A Day in the Life of Sarah

Dear God,

(: I had Phonics lesson with the children today. They learnt the letter M and tried forming sentences with one M words all by themselves like “My mummy make a muffin.”,  “I have a mummy who loves me very much.”, “The mountain is too hard to climb.”, “The moon is so bright.” Yayy! They are improving! 😀 Then we went to the playground. I tried to play with them but I got tired faster than them.

): In the afternoon, I overheard a conversation about getting new teachers in. But now, I am getting used to the children and they are starting to like me too. But I haven’t told the school yet. I’m scared to make the decision. I don’t like to make decisions. I don’t like to talk to you also.

 Sarah

Another Day

Yesterday was tough. Tried to guard my emotions and set up my defenses, but at the end of the day, I was just too tired. I felt weak and alone. I always prayed, “God, even if you think I can carry this cross. Must I really carry it.” So grabbing my stuff, I fled to ado. I sat there and I cried… I’m not that strong Jesus. I’m not… 40mins, til tmr… Jesus can you get me through this day. So I sat there and wept as time went by. I survived, even made a friend. And you know Lord. Thank you. For this friend I’ve made and also, for getting me through one more day. Wrote this song during my sorrow, finished it today.

http://yourlisten.com/timothy.swee.3/another-day

 

Another Day

Cant fight this feeling any longer

With all this darkness closing in

Cant help but feel that I am tired and alone

Someone save me from this place

 

You know my resting and my rising

You count each tear that I cry

This day I pray that I can get up on my feet

And maybe give you one more chance

 

So I look to you

As I put on my shoes

And go, another day

 

So shine down on me

With your strength from Calvary

As I go, another day

 

Three times the world tried to conscript me

Three times I had renounced your name

But each time that the world had caved in

Jesus you saved me from this place

 

So I look to you

As I put on my shoes

And go, another day

 

So shine down on me

With your strength from Calvary

As I go, another day

 

So I look to you

Knowing you’ll see me through

As I go, another day

 

Love,

Swee

Straw, Sticks and Bricks

The one saving grace… is that I am somehow praying.

This is what I tell people, even though I feel like my whole world came crumbling down. I somehow am praying. I am praying even though I feel that I cannot see how there is any goodness in this path which I have ended up walking on. I am praying even though I lost so many things… and even in my tears, even when I feel totally worthless and unlovable, even though the being in church breaks me down, even when I feel as though God doesn’t love me – I still come before him and pray.

Few days ago, we (log guys, I think) were talking about gwen’s song, and someone jokingly asked me to go write a song. A taylor swift comparison was made, said musicians get their inspiration during moments like these. So after trying to help sabby search for a praise song to use and coming up short endlessly, I picked up my guitar after walking home from Soo’s today.

http://yourlisten.com/timothy.swee.3/straw-sticks-and-bricks

I guess I tried to live my life right, but no matter what I used or did, the storm that came washed everything away. But what stood was me. Me standing upon this rock. And for that I praise God. I praise God for walking with me through this, though I might not believe it. I thank him for giving me the strength to cling on. I thank him for letting me build my house on the rock.

Lyrics: Straw, Sticks and Bricks

Some tried to build it with straw

Some tried to build it with trees

But I looked at all I had

God this is part of your plan

 

So I build my house upon the rocks

Though the world would try to tear it down

I will not crumble

Build my faith upon your love

Since that day that you had died for me

And set me free

 

Some thought that brick was enough

To face the storm and the seas

But the sand beneath their feet

Brought them all to their knees

 

But I built my house upon the rocks

Though the world had tired to tear it down

I did not crumble

Built my faith upon your love

Since that day that you had died for me

And set me free

 

Will you build your house upon the rocks

Though the world would try to tear it down

Would you build your faith upon his love

You know he wants to set you free

Come and sing with me

 

So we build our house upon the rocks

Though the world would try to tear us down

we will not crumble

Build our faith upon your love

Since that day that you had died for me

And set me free

 

Thanks for praying for me.

Love, Swee

 

I Quit

I don’t know whether this following sharing is LogBlog worthy, but I have been struggling with an uneasiness for some time which primarily arose from my endeavor in doing a business with a certain few people. And here is a brief tale of it.

“Hey, I’m quitting. I don’t want to do this anymore. Just let me leave in peace. Thank you.”

That was the text message I sent to my HR personnel to tell her that I was done with the company. The next morning when I woke up, there were 64 missed calls on my phone. Some peace that was.

Well, they didn’t exactly let me leave so easily. I had to clear things up first, but that was expected. So I’ll be taking some time this week to clear things up and do some handing over. Why the decision to leave then, you may ask.

As some of you may have already known, I took this holiday to start a company with an acquaintance I met during the term. You may have known or experienced my optimism with the company. How I could finally do something big, something more than myself, and of course how I could make money. Potentially a lot of money.

As with all startups, we first have to raise funds to do all our noble work. Thus, the plan was for us to individually trade our way to financial success, with our ‘mentor’ guiding us. Within days, I noticed that our ‘mentor’ was not guiding us, but rather just leaving us to deal with the trades ourselves. He essentially was always speaking in retrospect, i.e. I told you so, even though he never did. He never once guided us through a trade, and the only topic of conversation when he was around was himself. Of course I was irked, but everyone else seemed to think otherwise.

There were other tell tale signs about his character, but I will not disclose them here online. But essentially, I chose to ignore them and carried on with the company.

How the company was making money was that the company took a share of the winning trades, and the losses were marred with the people who did them. So if everyone was doing well, which was supposed to be the case, we’d get more from the company. All losses were individual liabilities, while all profit was shared.

The truth of the matter is that some people have been suffering losses in the thousands. The ‘mentor’ always pressured us to take on unnecessary risk. Obviously I sometimes caved in to the pressure, and of course lost money. But I knew not to lose my head, because I have had prior trading experience. However, soon, some people were beginning to lose in the thousands under his ‘leadership’ – his extremely bigoted, narcissistic and obviously misguiding leadership.

As CFO, I knew the situation in its entirety. The company was obviously in a sound financial position. But I also knew that people were losing a lot of money, blindly believing that this absurd losing was integral in the path of financial success. These people were losing money and I was feeding off whatever little gains they had. Isn’t that business?

Obviously the situation pricked my conscience. I wished for the situation to improve on their part. I tried to talk to them to tell them to try to stand for themselves. But I knew that was very hard, because our dear CEO aka ‘mentor’ was extremely domineering as well. He was the ‘smartest, bravest, and bestest’ of us all right? Bulls**t.

I distanced myself from trading with them, doing my own trading. I skipped company meetings, and trading sessions. But I did their accounts for them. To cut a long story short, the final straw came when despite knowing the extent of our personal losses, our dear leader still had the audacity to court new investors promising exceptional returns from learning to trade under him.

I’m leaving this company relatively unscathed. And I thank God for that. Had I not stood my ground nor my guts, I might have been in a very bad and compromising position. There were warning signs that I had chose to ignore, but the weight on my conscience was really too much. I thought about my partners’ financial position. One of them who came into this project with the same dreams and aspirations as I, but clearly in a worse financial state than I, currently have outstanding losses of about seven thousand dollars. The weight on my conscience, the knowing of the whole situation in its entirety and yet not being able to do anything about it, and of course the lousy and tedious and demoralizing accounting – all have contributed to my decision in leaving. And of course the uneasiness within me has been lifted.

There are a few lessons that I take away from this endeavour.

1)   Trust your gut, and do not ignore the warning signs when dealing with people

2)   Listen to your conscience; it may be the only thing leading you to doing what’s morally right, even though everything else may be legally right.

3)   What is in a title? CFO, CEO? Over glorified additions to a name to give one self a bigger ego.

4)   Pray. Pray for discernment to make the right decision. I spent quite a few nights pondering over this, before finally making the decision. Almost immediately, all my uncertainties were lifted, and a resounding peace remained.

God Bless,

Raphael

Raphael just wants to endeavor in everything. He thinks he may have found his niche in trading and music, but he truly enjoys once in a while a diversion from the well-trodden path and exploring the deep dark forest. 

Discernment

Recently in life I had a big decision to make, which required great discernment on my part. I was taught this by a Canossian sister:

To answer the question “Should I do X?”

1. Begin with a prayer to surrender all distractions; desires and expectations, to let His will be done.
2. On paper, write, “Do X” and list the pros and cons of making this decision. Leave this paper alone for 2-3 days. Don’t think about it.
3. Repeat above steps for the “Don’t do X” decision.
4. In the process of leaving it alone and not thinking about it, discover where your heart is prompting you towards.
5. Pray on why you feel this way, and if God is calling you to this decision.
6. Have the courage to make the decision.

I followed this process, also making sure to discuss it with those affected by the decision. No point discerning if you may not have the freedom to make the decision.

It was a month long process, meeting God in prayer, adoration and people. I was frustrated because I couldn’t find an answer. But I kept at it, until God revealed to me this line, “Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion…”

On some level, I wanted the answer to be “Do X” but I was afraid God was calling me to say no. As a person not keen on letting others down, this was extremely difficult. But as I continued praying, God revealed to me more reasons for this decision and gave me courage to say no. Today, I am fully humbled by what it means to submit myself to the will of God, to let myself decrease and let Him increase within me.

– Poey