Vocation

CCC 1603: God himself is the author of marriage. The vocation to marriage is written in the very nature of man and woman as they came from the hand of the Creator.

When I was much younger, I always imagined marriage as the natural path that everybody takes. Get a job, get a girlfriend, get married and live happily ever after. It’s what our parents did and it’s just right for me to do the same. But I never imagined that this very “natural path” was designed specially by God. God is love, and he created us lovingly to love Him. All men and women ought to have a natural desire for marriage and a natural desire to be a mother or father. And our very bodies have been designed to experience His love. Wow. I’m designed for marriage.

As I grew up a little, marriage started to seem like an awful concept. That as humans we are intrinsically fallen, and we imprint these flaws onto our children. And as people are broken so marriages also gradually crumble, it greatly puzzled me as to why if marriage was so great, divorce rates are so high and such a great number of children emerge from broken homes, deeply wounded by those who were supposed to care for them, much less think about marriage in my own life.

It is we as humans in our own weakness and loneliness who impose on their spouses “messianistic expectations”. We have the power to save the other person from their struggles, or an overwhelming conviction that the other person is the key to happiness and the answer to all of life’s problems. Marriage was a beautiful ideal of God’s love, but at this time still simply beyond my reach.

And then I got attached. And over the course of many years I can only say that God has been transforming my heart and breaking down all my barriers and aversions to marriage. Today, this is where I stand: It is only within our desire and love for God, and a complete surrendering of our will to know the path of Love that he has chosen for us, can we really find love in the other that He chooses for us. God is Love, and everyday for our entire lives He wants to pour out this Love into our hearts. And the only way to do this is to give up every selfish desire of what I want in this life to know what the plan He has for me. In complete abandon of my own will, I really hope to experience His love through marriage, if that is His plan after all.

Jesus Christ, I want to experience Your love in my life. I know that my plans for myself will only bring me temporary fulfillment but You give eternal joy. I am discerning this direction in my life right now, and I pray that you continue to show me the way to You. I surrender my own desires to you and I ask only that you show me Your plans for me, and also the courage to follow this path as it presents its difficulty.

Joel

Joel Maximilian Lau Shen Rong, or more fondly known as Poey, yearns to grow up but fears losing his license to just be and act like a child. He is afraid of the unknown and loves making people happy.